How To Support A Loved One Who Experienced Nursing Home Abuse

No one wants to put their elderly loved one in a dangerous situation. That's why many families do hours of research before choosing a long-term care facility. Yet there are still cases when you discover nursing home neglect or abuse. When this happens, you're probably feeling a range of strong emotions, from guilt and sadness to anger. But the most important thing you can do now is learn how to support a loved one who was a victim of nursing home abuse.

Report the Abuse

The first thing to do, if you haven't already, is to gather all possible documentation, such as pictures of injuries or descriptive notes on what occurred. Then you must file a complaint with the facility itself, as well as report the abuse to the Oklahoma Department of Health’s Division of Long-Term Care Services. You can make a report in writing by emailing [email protected] or call 1-800-747-8419. Provide as many details as you can about what exactly happened.

The Department of Health will then make an unannounced visit to investigate your complaint. After the visit, they’ll provide you and the facility with a written report on their findings. If they do find deficiencies, the facility will be given a chance to fix them before the department returns for a follow-up investigation. Keep in mind that your name and the name of your loved one will remain anonymous throughout this process, unless you choose otherwise.

Relocate Your Loved One

Most advice on how to support a loved one who was a victim of nursing home abuse includes speaking with the nursing home administrators to see if the problem can be fixed. But if you’re positive that your loved one has experienced nursing home abuse, the time for talking has likely passed. Because moving to a new facility can take some time, the best option may be to move them into your home or the home of another relative and arrange for home care until a new long-term facility can be found.

Many facilities have long waiting lists, and even the facility that you want to leave may require 30- or 60-day notice. On top of that, health insurance also has strict rules about transfers. However, if your loved one is in danger, both of these rules may be subject to exceptions. It's important to start the process as soon as you notice abuse or neglect to make sure you can get your loved one out of the situation as quickly as possible.

Provide Emotional Support

Providing emotional support is as easy as talking to your loved one in a nonjudgmental way. They need to know that their physical and emotional health is your top priority. While some victims may be hesitant to talk, and others may have cognitive limitations that prevent them from doing so, you can provide emotional support by:

• Acknowledging the situation. Don't avoid uncomfortable conversations. Use phrases like “I’m sorry this happened to you” to address what happened without being intrusive.
• Never judging or blaming. They’re likely already feeling guilt and shame, so use phrases like “This wasn’t your fault” to let them know that you're there for them without judgment.
• Encouraging them to open up. Instead of directly asking for all the details, use questions like “How can I help?” If they do open up, affirm their experience without questioning it.
• Attending appointments with them. Simply having someone there can make all the difference.
• Brightening their day. Emotional support isn't just about talking. Let them know you're thinking of them by bringing them small gifts, like their favorite food, a game to play or flowers.

Get Professional Help

While being there for them is incredibly important, there's only so much you can do to learn how to support a loved one who was a victim of nursing home abuse. Many victims of abuse, including elder abuse, can benefit from professional help to process their trauma. Reach out to a doctor or therapist who specializes in elder care or elder abuse. They can provide both a mental health checkup and ongoing care.

If your loved one is resistant to the idea of therapy, try to get them to go for at least one session. They may see that talking it out can really help them process their emotions. Plus, even one session could provide them with valuable coping tools. If you don't live near a specialist, take advantage of the virtual sessions many therapists now offer.

Encourage Social Activities

Abuse survivors, especially those who are used to routines, often want their sense of normalcy back. Plus, isolation and loneliness can contribute to poor mental and physical health in older adults and make them more vulnerable to future abuse. Once your loved one seems like they’re emotionally healthier, you can encourage them to get back out there.

If you've moved them to a new long-term care facility, check out what activities are available and get them signed up. Encourage them to eat meals with others and participate in classes, especially exercise classes, if they’re able. If they're at home, look into adult care centers near you that may have daytime activities. Talk to them about what they're doing in their classes and try to help them return to normal.

Be Patient

Just as there’s no set formula for how to support a loved one who was a victim of nursing home abuse, there’s no set timeline for recovery. Abuse can lead to long-term physical and mental trauma. It takes time to process, learn how to manage and be ready to move forward from abuse.

Every abuse survivor’s journey looks different, and it can even lead to behaviors that you may not understand. But even if you don't completely understand, you can still be empathetic and patient. Make sure they know that you're there for them, no matter what.

Advocate for Them

One of the best ways to support a loved one is to continue to advocate for them. You can not only help get them removed from the abusive situation, you can prevent them from entering another one. It's usually best to visit in person to check on them, but if you can't, you should know Oklahoma allows you to place a camera in their room if you advise the nursing home. Keep in touch with the staff at any new facility to advocate for their care.

You can also contact an attorney and file a nursing home abuse or neglect claim against the facility that abused your loved one. This will allow you to recover compensation for things like medical bills, travel expenses, lost wages from caring for your loved one and for their pain and suffering.

At GT Law Firm we have more than 30 years of experience with nursing home abuse and neglect cases. Contact us today for a free case evaluation and to learn about your next steps. Ultimately, financial compensation can help you not only provide proper medical and mental health care, but also put them in a higher-quality long-term care facility. And that is one of the best ways to support a loved one who was a victim of nursing home abuse.